I'm very excited again this week to join a talented group of women bloggers in an online, unedited flash mob free write. This week, the word-prompt given to us by our fearless leader Kate Motaung (whose wonderful blog can be found at katemotaung.com) is "limit". My timer is set for 5 minutes; ready, set,
Kate, are you hiding in my house, looking over my shoulder as I read my morning Bible devotion and write in my prayer journal? I ask because, once again, the word you've chosen dovetails perfectly with my morning meditations and an issue I've been dealing with. Let me explain.
As I think I've mentioned before, if you'd known me the first 40+ years of my life, you would have described me as someone who had to have all her proverbial ducks in a row, all the details worked out and noted in my Franklin-Covey planner in a tidy little daily schedule. To put it mildly, I didn't do well if I didn't know the plan for action ahead of time. And, if truth be told, I felt most comfortable if the plan that was going to be followed was one that I had devised.
The words "control" and "planner" fit me likely a custom-made leather glove.
If you have followed my blog, you know that 6 1/2 years ago, my carefully laid-out plans took a hit -- no, two hits. The first, which I thought at the time was a major one, was a minor prelude to the second. For almost two years, I did little planning, and I rarely felt in control. I didn't care, though; I was living on auto-pilot in a grief-induced fog much of the time that wasn't consumed by work.
Of course, the fog finally lifted, and I began living what I refer to as my "new normal". I slipped back into using a day-planner (not a Franklin-Covey, but a wonderful "system" that I absolutely love and will share more about on another day), but without the need to control the circumstances around me. Not because I didn't have the desire -- no, it was more that I didn't bother with it. Hard to explain, but true.
Lately, though, I've been faced with 2 really big, exciting opportunities. In the past, I would have chomped at the bit to plot and plan in anticipation of ultimately executing my plan.
But I'm not. Instead, in the last year or so, I've made a very deliberate decision to follow God's plan instead of my own.
The problem is that I don't know what HIs plan entails. You see, he has placed limits (you thought I was never going to get back to today's word, didn't you?) on what I can see.
In short, I don't have a clue as to what step I should take in moving forward. Not a single clue. I can't see a single foot in front of me. My view is limited.
In my former life, I'd have long ago given up waiting on God -- heck, I wouldn't have left things in HIs hands to begin with.
Now, though, I'm waiting. And I'm waiting pretty darned patiently, if I may say so myself.
Part of my waiting involves my morning devotion because -- wouldn't you believe it? -- they have focused for the past week or so on seeing earthly things through the eyes of eternity, following God's plan instead of my own.
And so I'm not chafing at the limited sight I have. I'm waiting. For direction. God's.
Phew -- that was a fast and furious five minutes. I don't think I've ever written that much for a Five Minute Friday post! If you are so inclined, I ask that you keep me in your prayers in the days ahead, in the days before God reveals to me the next step He wants me to take. I don't want to share what the 2 opportunities are or what decisions I will need to make. I've learned that when I do that, people are more inclined to offer advice than to add me to their prayer list. Not to be rude, but I don't want human advice; I want Godly direction. And when I receive it, I'll share here where I'm going next. Thanks so much!