Friday, July 14, 2017

Comfort from Within

I'm very excited to again this week join a talented group of women who connect each Friday in an online, unedited flash mob free write based on a one-word prompt from our fearless leader Kate Motaung. My timer is set for 5 minutes; let's see where the word "comfort" takes me.

From without.

For 50+ years, that's where I sought comfort when life was having its way with me, when I was weary from the struggle or hurting from some jab, when my carefully-organized life with it's planner and checklists hit a snag

When I was a child, I sought -- and found -- comfort in books. 

Eventually, though, I also sought comfort in other people. In their friendship, their company. 

Books were always there, of course, and I even had favorites that I could turn to. And I did. Other people were less reliable, but still . . . I sought them, their understanding, their empathy.

But the day came, as it always does, when the outer things simply weren't enough. Oh, they provided a temporary respite from pain or disappointment, but when I turned the last page of the book or when lunch with a friend ended and I was back home, alone, again . . . 

Now you might wonder why, as a Christian, I didn't find comfort in my faith, in God. The fact is, I didn't try. 

But then, in the span of three years, I suffered two blows, the second significantly stronger, more devastating than the first.

I needed comfort.

And I've finally begun to look for it not from the outside, but from within.


From my faith, yes.

But also from learning who I am, from being true to myself, from being comfortable in my own skin.

I'm a work in progress. 

But the process . . . even that is a comfort. 



4 comments:

  1. Exactly the way I would put it. For most of my life I sought comfort from without (teddy bear, food, books, approval of others) but really what was needed was the comforter of my heart. I'm learning, little my little, with the grace and mercy of God.

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  2. This is one of those posts that seems you've been in my head. I'm learning g to be comfortable in my skin too. Several weeks ago I realized that since Jesus I've tried to please others to be what I thought a good Christian girl should be. That hasn't worked too well, so now I search within. I search looking for what Jesus made not what the world of Christianease tells me to be. Scary to give up the control but I'm finding comfort in surrendering of late.

    Did u get Kate's retreat email? She sent it yesterday. Next week we'll be enjoying a cup of java together. Whoohooo.

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  3. LOVE this, Patti! I always found comfort in books...always packed books first when traveling. Clothes had to fit in around them.

    #1 at FMF this week.

    https://blessed-are-the-pure-of-heart.blogspot.com/2017/07/your-dying-spouse-336-gods-lighthouse.html

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  4. "A work in progress". 'Nuff - and best - said. I love the optimism.

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